Joe Biden’s office staffers are wondering to themselves why they work so darn hard to cover for the mistakes of their clueless leader. “You are thinking,” said one person familiar, CNN prints, “why are we doing this?” Dysfunction is running rampant.
Office politics gone wild
Just because they know the drill doesn’t make it any easier. Office aides are forced to email back and forth to each other as they follow His Wisdom around on the road.
Their responsibility is to track things like “who’s covering what he’s saying?” and “which TV channels are taking the speech live?” Time and again, they’re frustrated that nobody is covering what he’s saying and not a single channel took him live.
Back at the office, the Imperial Leader and his his inner circle “get weekly readouts of the metrics on local newspaper coverage of his speeches, how long and for what he was covered on cable, but also videos that staff post on Twitter and other social media interactions.” Joe doesn’t like to talk about what those reports say.
The reports say the same thing that the polls are saying and everyone in the office is afraid to remind His Wisdom of that. Pollsters are unanimous in their observations that “Biden isn’t breaking through in traditional news outlets and that the people who are engaged are mostly voters who’ve already made up their minds.”
Brainless Zombies for Biden would make a great slogan. It would match the message that all that soul, which Biden assured everyone on the campaign trail he had, is tightly bottled up in one of those little voodoo jars.
A deeper dysfunction
The dysfunction, office workers explain, goes even deeper. Aides only get together in virtual meetings and can’t seem to get a handle on “how much their political standing has changed over the last year.” The staff are in panic mode while Biden’s handlers keep reassuring them it will all be okay.
The underlings have no choice but take their word for it because the “inner circle” has “been around Biden for longer than most of the rest of that staff has been alive.” They take a lot of anti-depressants, too.
Biden’s organization isn’t in what the career bureaucrats like to call the proper “dynamic.” Biden, they say, is “still trying to calibrate himself to the office.”
Meanwhile, the “country is pulling itself apart, pandemic infections keep coming, inflation keeps rising, a new crisis on top of new crisis arrives daily and Biden can’t see a way to address that while also being the looser, happier, more sympathetic, lovingly Onion-parody inspiring, aviator-wearing, vanilla chip cone-licking guy — an image that was the core of why he got elected in the first place.” Whew, that felt good to vent, the leaking rat observed.
“He has to speak to very serious things,” an office co-worker added. “And you can’t do that getting ice cream.” They don’t even want to hear the word inflation.
No matter what crisis the media corners him with, Joe flubs it. “He’s often left looking like he’s in a reactive crouch on the issues that matter most to voters rather than setting the agenda.“