Breaking: Pelosi’s Meddling Forces Taiwan to Brace For Invasion

Taiwan

The almost independent nation of Taiwan is “preparing for war” because Nancy Pelosi can’t keep her meddling nose out of China’s business. The Pooh Bear has made it crystal clear that a visit now would be a slap in the face to be met with clear and decisive force. As of Monday, August 1, everyone in Asia is expecting a Chinese invasion of the island any moment.

Taiwan gets ready for invasion

Nancy Pelosi isn’t doing Taiwan any favors by pushing the issue of democratic independence down Xi Jinping’s throat. The Pentagon practically ordered her to stay away because they’ve been up to their own shenanigans and realize China could easily see her little political drama as the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Imperial Leader Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. decisively waffled. He wouldn’t say no, Nancy, don’t do it. Instead he told her the military doesn’t think it’s “a good idea.” Clearly, she took that as explicit approval to go ahead, just keep it quiet.

It didn’t stay all that quiet. She’s headed to Asia and everyone already knows she’s scheduled to have a meeting in Taiwan on Wednesday. The Taiwanese National Defense Ministry is watching radar closely for her plane. It turned out that the rumors they plan to shoot it down might be founded after all. The Defense Ministry called “all officers back from leave” and also ordered air defenses, to “prepare for war” any day.

Officially, a stop in Taipei isn’t even on her schedule. At the last minute on Monday, the palace propaganda corps came out to make a statement that the administration doesn’t dare to tell members of Congress what to do. If Nancy Pelosi wants to go ahead and start World War III, that’s her prerogative.

Also on Monday, China “doubled down on its position, warning that its military ‘won’t sit idly by‘ if Pelosi steps foot in Taiwan.

Spokesman for the Chinese foreign ministry Zhao Lijian “sternly” warned “that China stands at the ready and the Chinese People’s Liberation Army will never sit idly by.” Not only that, “China will take resolute and vigorous countermeasures to defend its sovereignty and territorial integrity.

To be seized one day

The big question, everyone already knows, is whether Nancy will “stay in Taiwan overnight.” To keep her plane from being shot down, they aren’t revealing when she’s expected to touch down in Taipei. China says if she so much declares an in flight emergency or request for refueling there, they will consider it an act of war.

Just like Puerto Rico is a territory of the United States, “Beijing considers self-ruled Taiwan its territory – to be seized one day, by force if necessary.” They say if Pelosi shows up now, that could be the day.

China’s state run news outlet the Global Times reports that “Ms. Pelosi might use ‘emergency excuses like an aircraft fault or refueling‘ to land at a Taiwanese airport.” Not a good idea.

If she dares to stop in Taiwan, it will be the moment to ignite the powder keg of the situation in the Taiwan Straits.” They note that Zhao Lijian was already on record declaring if House Speaker Nancy Pelosi visits Taiwan, China will get drastic.

Everyone is nervous over this one, especially the residents of Taiwan. “As to what measures, if she dares to go, then let’s wait and see,” global times writes.

There are rumors swirling around that they’re stenciling her name on one of their nifty new nuclear powered nuclear torpedoes and programming it for a little cruise under the pacific to visit San Francisco. Last week, Joe spent a full two hours getting yelled at by Xi Jinping. Apparently, not a word of the conversation sunk in.

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