Police dragged the 32-year-old CFO of Tyson Foods, John Tyson, out of bed on Sunday. It wasn’t his bed. It wasn’t his house either. He hadn’t been invited. He simply wandered in off the street and passed out. He was arrested for public intoxication and trespassing.
John Tyson sleeps around
Tyson Foods CFO John Tyson taught an unidentified woman a shocking lesson to lock her door. You never know when some intoxicated millionaire is going to wander in and go to sleep in your bed.
The arrest report notes the meat mogul “was found asleep at 2 a.m. Sunday in the bed of a woman who arrived home late.” She sheepishly admitted that her front door was unlocked. Locks only stop honest people anyway.
When cops tried to rouse the interloper they learned how deep John Tyson can sleep. “Police attempted to wake him up and speak with him but he was unable to verbally respond.”
Tyson Foods CFO John Tyson arrested for entering stranger’s house, passing out in her bed https://t.co/sNqkY5eAJe
— New York Post (@nypost) November 7, 2022
They didn’t care about his bank balance, deputies with the Sheriff of Washington County, Arkansas, inform. They just booked him in to the local lockup to sober up. He was allowed to walk free later in the evening on November 6.
As a member of the Tyson family’s fourth-generation, John joined the company’s executive team in 2019. They bumped him up to chief financial officer in September.
The rest of the family are breathing a heavy sigh of relief that the bed was empty when he climbed into it. This scandal is bad but it could have been a whole lot worse. When you’re as drunk as Tyson was it’s more a case of “any port in a storm.” The PR people can handle that.
A personal matter
John Tyson currently reports directly to president and CEO Donnie King. A spokesperson went out in front of the cameras to do some damage control. The management is “aware of the incident” but declined to comment further, other than noting it is “a personal matter.”
The drunken wanderer learned his party skills while getting his undergraduate degree in economics from Harvard University. For fun, he got his MBA from Stanford.
Before managing the finances of the family operation, John had a gig at J.P. Morgan in investment banking. It gave him on the job training about “private equity and venture capital.”
Goldilocks is “being groomed for the roles of CEO and Chairman.” That’s not a surprise because “those are positions his father and grandfather held at the company.”
Hopefully, John will send the woman who’s bed he warmed a nice sampler package of the family’s products to make up for his embarrassing gaffe. Especially considering that “the Tyson family’s interests maintain an approximate 71% voting stake in the company.”
Meat is worth a fortune these days. She’d appreciate a sampler case of beef and chicken goodies more than flowers or chocolate.
