ALERT: 100’s ARRESTED

arrested

Around 100 young hedonists were arrested in Miami Beach this weekend after a large crowd got “disorderly” and started “surrounding officers.” Law enforcement warns that’s only the start. Spring breakers have a tendency to get unruly but with all the Covid-19 restrictions in force, the police aren’t putting up with it this year.

Arrested by the hundreds

According to the mayor of Miami Beach, Dan Gelber, residents have a problem with “too many people coming there to let loose.” They don’t mind the money but won’t put up with shenanigans.

“If you’re coming here because you think anything goes, you’re going to have a terrible time.” You’ll get arrested. “We’ve made hundreds and hundreds of arrests.”

A city spokesperson notes that “some of those arrested are facing weapons and drug charges.” They’re used to that. “these issues are common around spring break, but COVID-19 protocols have made policing the crowds more difficult.”

The Miami Beach PD is “working 12-hour shifts to manage the unruly crowds.” On Friday night hundreds of visitors “got out of control” prompting police to respond “with force.” Cops were a little perturbed that two officers were injured in the incident and had to be transported an area hospital.

On Saturday, police made a sweep of South Beach and netted more troublemakers, adding another 30 who they arrested to the statistics. On Monday, Mayor Gelber gave his annual state of the city address.

He’s frustrated that “some places in the city are not safe at times.” He’s especially worried about South Beach. The city’s “entertainment district must go” to be replaced with a “true art deco cultural district.”

CDC advises ‘stay home’

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, getting arrested is the least of your worries if you head to Florida for spring break.

They have everyone convinced that partying on the beach will wipe out humanity. Their latest bulletin continues to “urge Americans not to travel, including for spring break.”

If you really must travel, the CDC wants you to navigate over to their website for “tips to help prevent the spread of COVID-19.”

With drunken college students having unprotected sex in every nook and cranny, they want the kids to remember to wear a mask at all times, even when hitting the bong, and have sex from six feet away from each other, especially if you just met ten minutes ago. Police advise that you won’t get thrown in jail for quarantine violations but you will be arrested for anything that they can arrest you for, just to keep everything under control.

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