Breaking: Garland Addresses FBI Trump Raid


According to Merrick Garland, the FBI can do no wrong. Ever. It’s simply not possible. The Just Us Department announced a big press conference on Thursday. Without a shred of consideration for anyone else’s schedule the Attorney General appeared at the podium half-an-hour late. The speech he delivered left everyone else speechless. Literally. He ran out of the room before anyone could ask a single question, saying he wouldn’t answer them anyway.

Daring to question the FBI is treason

Merrick Garland should have apologized to L. Ron Hubbard for borrowing the speech he delivered on August 11.

What he said wasn’t exactly what the late, great Elron penned a long, long, time ago but the meaning is exactly the same. Elron said it more eloquently, so we’ll use his version of what our illustrious Attorney General had to say about his beloved FBI.

We’re the Department of Justice. We run this country and don’t you forget it.” The switchboard has been lighting up with complaints since they raided Mar-A-Lago.

Christopher Wray has been getting death threats over a simple little fishing trip. “Do you realize that questioning the FBI is treason? Do you know what the penalty for treason is? Death. It says so right in the Constitution.

Not only that, “you have to testify to whatever FBI wants you to testify to. You have to swear to anything the FBI tells you to swear to and sign anything you are told by FBI to sign.

If you fail to do so, you will be charged with conspiring to conspire with conspirators regardless of race, color, or creed. The Federal Bureau of Instigation is totally legal. Always.

Don’t ask about Hunter

When a Senate oversight committee tried to grill Christopher Wray on why the bureau never seems to press criminal charges against a registered Democrat, the Director had an important plane to catch. It turned out that what he really had was some important fish to catch. Charles Grassley practically begged for a measly 20 minutes and Wray thumbed his nose.

Right at the same time the news was breaking that his flight was to a private little lake in the mountains, the world learned a former president’s home had been raided. Why hasn’t Hunter Biden’s home ever been raided? Merrick Garland says he doesn’t have to answer that. The FBI is totally legal. Always. Remember?

There’s supposed to be a grand-jury investigation going on but it isn’t moving anywhere, “despite copious documentary evidence that he accepted millions of dollars from America’s adversaries in exchange for influencing his father, the then-vice president.


The FBI was nowhere to be seen as Hunter and his dad climbed aboard Air Force One on the way to their own island vacation in South Carolina. They brazenly stopped at the top of the stairs “to turn and face the waiting cameras, father and son, giving the world a lingering view of their brazen smiles before they jetted off.

The New York Post didn’t miss the not-so-subtle message. “‘We are untouchable’ was the unspoken message. They may as well have given the middle finger to half the country.

Merrick Garland came out on Thursday to officially confirm it. “No one is above the law. Unless you’re a Democrat.” Professor Nicholas Giordano agrees. “They don’t even hide it anymore.










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